Let us talk turkey.
The epicurean’s stuperbowl is nary 2 months away and in order to get the cream of the guest crop, 2B3S (Gluttony Digest Editor and Prussian war re-enactor) and I are currently considering applications to offer 4 secular Thanksgiving day dinner seats to sophisticated guests with elegant sensitivities.
The hosts’ familiar guest base dwindles during the Thanksgiving season due to family obligations but previous feasts have been nothing short of deliciously successful save for a cornucopia of remarkably tactless infractions of etiquette by a few lowbrow guests who: 1. brought “Doritos” and other Frito-Lay products; 2. lost a tooth and was not bashful about showing it around; 3. asked for plates and served other convives like it was a prison cafeteria and started eating before the host had even seated; 4. tried to discuss fellatio with the prude red-head catholic girl; 5. yep, you guessed it, wore a fucking sweatshirt.
Refreshing pioneers and/or experts of any esoteric field, collectors, inventors, adventurers, marine biologists, history enthusiasts, roadie experience, comedic gift, convincing sleight of hand, Scandinavian women and foreign accents are preferred. Perspective guests should be able to provide sample anecdotes, 2 social references and agree to an interview at the bar of the Mayflower hotel (naturally). Gluttony, profuse perspiration, war crimes, boors, bores, louts, activists, political/religious zealots, kleptos, unfounded arrogance, podiatrists, prudes, picky palates, French Québécois accents and a standing height of over 6' 4" are deal breakers (due to low ceilings).
Selected guests are expected to wear clean shoes and dress appropriately: cardigan and corduroy for the gents; ankle length dresses and modest blouse for the hopefully busty ladies. Guests will bring a proper bottle of wine (which we can recommend) as a measure of gratitude and good form.
The entirety of the meal will be prepared in house by an accomplished cook host and adhere to the traditional format of hors d’oeuvres and libations, soup, hot appetizer, Amish Heritage turkey in 2 preparations, seasonal vegetables, stuffing, starch, desert, etc... Interested guest can send an e-mail query for more details and consideration
These previous menus should assuage any concerns of sustenance and cookery aesthetics.
TG2008: Hommage to Turkey
-11,000,000 milligram Amish Turkey (hence the cheeky currency denomination), Mulled Cider, Humus and Home, Made Pide Bread, Pickled Fish, Foie Gras, Red Lentil and Celeriac Soup, Potatoes with Anchovies and Cumin, Pumpkin and Barley Stuffing, Cranberry and Walnut Baklava, Backgammon, Massage
with Apricots and Pistachios
The Breast Roasted with Sumac and Yogurt
Black Cardamom Kofte with the Legs and Giblets
TG 2007
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