Discutons de Dindons

Let us talk turkey.

The epicurean’s stuperbowl is nary 2 months away and in order to get the cream of the guest crop, 2B3S (Gluttony Digest Editor and Prussian war re-enactor) and I are currently considering applications to offer 4 secular Thanksgiving day dinner seats to sophisticated guests with elegant sensitivities.

The hosts’ familiar guest base dwindles during the Thanksgiving season due to family obligations but previous feasts have been nothing short of deliciously successful save for a cornucopia of remarkably tactless infractions of etiquette by a few lowbrow guests who: 1. brought “Doritos” and other Frito-Lay products; 2. lost a tooth and was not bashful about showing it around; 3. asked for plates and served other convives like it was a prison cafeteria and started eating before the host had even seated; 4. tried to discuss fellatio with the prude red-head catholic girl; 5. yep, you guessed it, wore a fucking sweatshirt.

Refreshing pioneers and/or experts of any esoteric field, collectors, inventors, adventurers, marine biologists, history enthusiasts, roadie experience, comedic gift, convincing sleight of hand, Scandinavian women and foreign accents are preferred. Perspective guests should be able to provide sample anecdotes, 2 social references and agree to an interview at the bar of the Mayflower hotel (naturally). Gluttony, profuse perspiration, war crimes, boors, bores, louts, activists, political/religious zealots, kleptos, unfounded arrogance, podiatrists, prudes, picky palates, French Québécois accents and a standing height of over 6' 4" are deal breakers (due to low ceilings).

Selected guests are expected to wear clean shoes and dress appropriately: cardigan and corduroy for the gents; ankle length dresses and modest blouse for the hopefully busty ladies. Guests will bring a proper bottle of wine (which we can recommend) as a measure of gratitude and good form.

The entirety of the meal will be prepared in house by an accomplished cook host and adhere to the traditional format of hors d’oeuvres and libations, soup, hot appetizer, Amish Heritage turkey in 2 preparations, seasonal vegetables, stuffing, starch, desert, etc... Interested guest can send an e-mail query for more details and consideration

These previous menus should assuage any concerns of sustenance and cookery aesthetics.

TG2008: Hommage to Turkey

-11,000,000 milligram Amish Turkey (hence the cheeky currency denomination), Mulled Cider, Humus and Home, Made Pide Bread, Pickled Fish, Foie Gras, Red Lentil and Celeriac Soup, Potatoes with Anchovies and Cumin, Pumpkin and Barley Stuffing, Cranberry and Walnut Baklava, Backgammon, Massage

Brussels Sprouts and winter vegetables
with Apricots and Pistachios

The Breast Roasted with Sumac and Yogurt

Black Cardamom Kofte with the Legs and Giblets

TG 2007

Boudin Blanc d’Avranches

White Boudin from Avranches

Boudin Blanc, Beta version. An emulsified chicken sausage with fatback, onions and a panade, poached and then browned in duck fat. Upon returning from a Labor Day weekend on what a generation ago was an entirely sustainable 275 acre farm in southwestern Virginia, 8lbs of industrial Purdue chicken-ish breasts and thighs were inexplicably acquired. In a desperate though epicurean effort to transform the offending burlap anthropomorphism of poultry into comestible silk, a resourceful boudin blanc recipe was developed based on traditional regional French varieties befitting of the cupboard and previous intrepid experimentations : Boudin blanc d’Avranches, from the northwestern Manche department in lower Normandie.

Measurements were made based on the weight of the suspiciously yellow lab-raised protein do determine proportions of fatback, onion and bread/cream panade (French boudin designation can not exceed 5% starch content). The onions were sweated in foie gras fat with chili pepper, salt and lavender until soft, then cooked uncovered to evaporate any remaining water. The dried bread was soaked in cream and the chilled fatback was diced. All was ground though the small die and then puréed with the help of water and cream*, seasoned, paddled and pressed into hog casings. The boudins were poached in seasoned water (salt, chili, bay leaf, lavender, garlic) for 40 minutes, which in hindsight may have been twice too long. They were left to cool in the liquid.

To serve, the boudins were removed from their casings and browned in duck fat with garlic and lavender. While not entirely unpleasant, the chicken flavor was muted, perhaps due to the inferior product used or the traditional fillers.

Initial shortcomings and screw ups:

The cooked onions should have been moistened with a splash of sherry vinegar and some chicken glace to give a more pronounced poultry flavor.

*As for the texture, the forcemeat should have been ground twice through the fine die and then puréed without cream and more liquid (from the onions and panade) or whole milk to give a smoother final product as with the cervelas. The boudin’s texture was ever so slightly shamefully gritty, which may also have been a result of the cream breaking in the food processor. Eureka? In haste to find an authentic, vintage recipe, the properties to cream and modern technology were overlooked. Cream turns to butter in a food processor. The original recipe, which predated Pierre Verdun’s 1963 food processing gizmo –now generically dubbed the “Robot Coupe”, yet pronounced "Row-beau Coop"- called for pounding the forcemeat through a pedestrian sieve, just as generations dating back to Taillevent had done.

Suprême en Pâte

Chicken Airliner in Savory Pastry

A piecemeal representation of the venerable Coq en Pâte, a whole rooster baked in a savory pastry crust generally decorated and molded so as to suggest a poultry form. In this case a Frenched and brined chicken airliner. Baked in a butter and lard based pâte à foncer (50% short crust). Seam is on the bottom and the chimney makes room for the bone while allowing steam to escape. Decorative feather emotes the bird within. 4 coats egg wash. Cavity is then filled with aspic made from reduced consommé. Must be baked at a very high temperature to ensure that the pastry has a chance to cook before the chicken breast overcooks and shrinks down to nothing. A layer of toasted coarse breadcrumbs may absorb any of the excessive juice the chicken might release.

Jambonneau de Volaille

Aux armes, citoyens!...

Jambonneau de Volaille en Chaud-Froid

Chicken hams in chaud-froid with aspic fleur-de-lys.

Chicken legs frenched, the thigh bones removed, skinned, stuffed with the bird’s giblets and oysters, pistachios, my lardo and poached. Gelatine and a white roux is added to the cooking liquid (chaud-froid) in proper béchamel proportions. The chilled legs are placed on a wire rack and napéed many times with the chaud-froid until an even coating is achieved. Excess is melted and ladled over again as needed. Dark aspic is made from soy sauce, water and gelatin. Sleight of hand “truffle découpage” can be made with a few drops of activated charcoal or squid ink in the gelatin and perhaps ground dehydrated black olives. Garnished with fluted mushrooms, beveled carrots and cipollini onions à la Grecque.